Episode 100 - Unleashing Creativity and Living Authentically: A Journey of Growth with Nina Ganguli

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Conversations that Matter with your host, amber Howard. Each week, amber dances, in conversation with inspirational leaders, out to make a difference for what matters most to people. She brings you incredible guests who share their real life experience of being a leader and what it looks like to live a truly created life of service to others. And now here's your host.

Speaker 2: 0:24

Welcome back everyone. Welcome back to the Conversations that Matter podcast. This is our 100th episode of the show and I am overjoyed to have Nina Ganguly back on the show. So Nina was the first guest of the what Would Amber Do podcast back in the day as we started, and Nina is a coach entrepreneur. She's a speaker and author of the book Conversations of a Cantoholic and a podcast host herself, from victim to victory, and just one of my best friends and family and yeah, kindred spirit, soulmate. I don't know. There are just not enough words to express who Nina is for me, and so we don't really have a lot planned other than just to get back together and talk about living a creative life and some of the experiences that we've had since 2020, when you first came on the show, nina. So just thank you so much for being in my life, for who you are the leader you are, the woman, mother, friend, for everything that you are, and thank you for being here today.

Speaker 3: 1:28

First of all, congratulations, thank you. What's the difference? 100 episodes, that's incredible. That takes some level of commitment, because I'm having podcasts as well, so I get it. Thank you for all the lovely, wonderful things that you've said Right back atcha lady, right back at you, and it's funny when you list off all the stuff. I'm like I did a lot of stuff. Every day I walk around in a cloud like, okay, who do I need to be today to get through the day? And sometimes it's like who do I need to be in this moment? We talk about this creative life, created life, creating a life that is the life of your dreams. It's kind of like a Disney movie. You don't see the behind the scenes of what it looks like to find your quote unquote prince charming. The reality of a creative life is interesting and I can't believe you said 2020 was the first episode. It's 2023, three years later. How much has changed since our first episode? Three years ago, I was really interested in entrepreneurship.

Speaker 2: 2:48

I was like, really like, that was my I was just thinking that you are a woman trying to get somewhere and prove something.

Speaker 3: 2:58

Yeah, too much. You know it was funny. I never wanted to prove something to somebody else but myself.

Speaker 3: 3:03

I always tried to prove that I was worthy enough, smart enough, quick enough, good enough. Whatever the enuffs are and it's not that that's completely gone away in the past three years, but there's a lot more talk about is that what you really want? Like, who are you trying to prove that to? Who's that? For you know, is it for Amber saying, oh, nina, you're so great? Or is it really for hey Nina Saying Nina, hey, you're so great? Like, what is it really all for?

Speaker 3: 3:35

And in the past three years, yeah, I think the last time I spoke to you maybe was I was doing work at the mine. Then I don't remember, I think so. I think you were doing work at the mine. It was really exciting and I felt glamorous. Until you go to the mine, it's not that glamorous. It's not that glamorous actually working at the mine, but the work was great. But that started something new for me. In that time I discovered this wasn't what I wanted to do. I noticed that the pattern over the my life is living helping other people to live their dreams and putting mine to the side, not like from a coaching perspective. Like coach, I love that. You know coaching someone, helping them achieve the goals that they want to achieve, or as a Reiki master, helping them heal and provide that space so they can move forward.

Speaker 3: 4:29

What I'm talking about is putting my own myself aside so that somebody else could build and work on their dream, and I was completely lost inside of somebody else's view of that. And so what I've learned in the past three years and what I've asked myself which is a question that you asked me when we were having a conversation about when I was beginning to step outside of that work was what do you want? And I'm still working on it. Three years later. I'm still. Every day. I want something new. I drive people, not people, like the people closest to me. So you know my husband, my daughter and my son, you know, and you asked me that question again. So I came to see you in Bali at the beginning of this year. I can't believe it was like I feels like 10 years ago.

Speaker 2: 5:26

Now You've done a lot since you were in Bali we both have, actually but yeah, you've done a lot since we came to this in March.

Speaker 3: 5:36

You asked me that question again but like, but what do you really want? Do you really want this business? Do you really want to be? Do you know? You know, really, you said you're nothing and then I came back and did everything, you know, but it wasn't that. It's like I am actually building a life where I can do nothing, like nothing, meaning there's no agenda. I think that's what what I mean by say when I say I want to do nothing, I don't want an agenda.

Speaker 3: 6:08

You know, I found being in Bali I was able to be at that point in time, the truest expression of myself. I really did feel like that, like I felt like you and I would have a conversation. So, what do you want to do? Oh, I think I want to do this. Okay, you want to do that? Okay, let's just do that. That's what I want in life. Oh, you want to go to the beach? Sure, you want to go for dinner? Pro, awesome. You want to do nothing? Yeah, no, nobody else's agenda.

Speaker 3: 6:40

It was very freeing and I've been looking for that since I got back, because I've been on this, I've been creating a life to get to back to that, anywhere in the world, it doesn't matter, it doesn't have to be in Bali, it just it exists inside myself. That's actually, yeah, I just I just came up with that right now, like I'm. What I want is that feeling inside myself. Anywhere I go, prano with as dense energy as we have here in America, in Bali, and I know, you know, I mean it's totally different and it's not just the weather, it's it's all of it together and have that anywhere I go. And I think that's really the biggest thing that's happened since episode one to to now. Episode 100 is just being grounded in who I am, anywhere I go.

Speaker 2: 7:43

Yeah, Well, and I remember I think it was this year.

Speaker 2: 7:48

You know, time flies, as they say, but I think this was the year I was out of this year, the last year that you were no, it had to have been this year. You were going on a journey of, like becoming your own best friends. You know, and I think, like you know someone who's known you through a number of different phases in your life, and each of them, I'd say, you were creating your life to a greater or lesser degree. You know to from the circle of reality that you were in at that time, or what you could see or what you thought you wanted, because we're not static and we evolve. You know that I'm not the same person who got off the plane here, or we could go today, you know, in California, like I won't be going back to Toronto the same person you know who got here, and. But there's a lightness to you that you know I experienced in Bali, and I think Bali was the first time you and I really spent any like concerted or consolidated time together, like what they would say.

Speaker 2: 8:48

But there was no agenda and we weren't trying to drink, yeah, like yeah, we weren't like working or you know like at some event or you know out at whatever. We just had time together to just be with one another and be in community and it was beautiful. But I think there, you know, there is a lightness to your spirit and to your energy and I've watched you since you got back. It's like gaining that clarity about what it was that you wanted out of your life and then coming home and saying, ok, what structures, what needs to change about my life structurally to allow for that? Oh, we're going to sell our house. Oh, we're going to, you know, we're going to do this. Oh, like and just being, and I know that it's.

Speaker 2: 9:29

There's been some really intense periods of like, got to get stuff done. But I think, throughout all of that because it's inside of your creation and your creation with Paris, about what the next chapter of your life is going to be in service of and about, I think it makes the you know, the busyness of the last, you know kind of like. It keeps it in perspective or context. Right.

Speaker 3: 9:56

Yeah, that's, it's so true, and I think that's what I wanted to kind of hone in on is that of creating a creative created life is creation. So imagine, you know, for the listeners out there who are listening to, ok, well, what are you talking about? Like it should be easy, like, if you decide this is what you want, you should just float through it. Yeah, I really do wish it was like that and it can be. It can be, but you do have to do the work to get there.

Speaker 3: 10:29

Not just the structures Amber, but also like the healing the mind, like knowing that you're worth having what you want, like it's you're worth having your creative life, it's worth taking these challenging steps to you know, to get where you want to go, and being in a space where there's people around you who don't agree with the decisions you're making, and then the closest people to you, yes, saying trust me, trust me, trust my vision. This is good for all of us, and you know me so well that I don't make a move without considering. You know, every part of the picture, as much as I can see, you know, and so that I think that's been the most challenging.

Speaker 3: 11:18

You know people talk about, oh, your support system. You have to. You know the people closest to you, people closest to you. I had never experienced discontent in my support system as I had this time pushing through probably one of the biggest changes in life for the entire family which was we.

Speaker 3: 11:40

In order for Paris and I to have the life we want post-work life, or, for him, work life we had to make some significant changes. That impacted my two kids, right? They're like oh, this is a house that I grew up in. I was born in this house, I've lived in this, this is my identity. They've never moved. So that's been a struggle specifically for one of my children. It's been a struggle for them.

Speaker 3: 12:10

And so you know, dealing with that discontent, knowing every day you're doing the right thing. I know, as a parent, as an entrepreneur, I know that you get that, that you know to create the business you want. There might be, you know, partners in your business who are like they're just not getting the vision. But you're like no, trust me when I tell you, if you look out, pan out into five years and look five years from now, I'm telling you with everything I know and everything I can see around me, this is the way to go and to continue to push forward, having a creative life in personal and in business. It does take strength, and then I would say it takes a village, because I swear I called my friends, I connected with people all the time because I was going a little and at that time things that were unhealed because things will come up when you're taking on something new the unhealed or unprocessed parts of me started like coming out, because there was. I could no longer pretend or not look at those parts. There was nothing else left but for those things to come up I was in Two months ago.

Speaker 3: 13:35

I was in severe back pain. I could barely move and I don't think I really shared that with you, but I could barely move. I was walking with a cane, I could step up and down the stairs and it was just because yeah, of course there's a lot of physicality in getting the house prepared, moving. We're in another house where we're doing renovations, so it feels like I'm still moving. I'm moving every couple of months, packing up, moving this, packing up moving that, because we're staying in the house while the renovations are happening.

Speaker 3: 14:11

What I discovered in the pain? Because I'm very blessed to have a lot of spiritual healers and leaders around me I happened to meet an energy healer who said to me yeah, well, you know, all of your pain is caused by emotions and things. That and other people's emotions and other people's stuff that you've been holding onto since forever. You just haven't processed at all. I've done so much healing, there's so much forgiveness and so much of this stuff done and so much of that I've done, just yeah. No, there's still a lot that you just don't know that you're dealing with and so I can say right now I'm like 95% pain-free and I did nothing besides an energetic healing, which is great.

Speaker 2: 15:07

She does some crazy stuff for me.

Speaker 2: 15:12

I believe, stuff today that I wouldn't have experienced, things that I still can't really explain. There's this great TV show on Disney called Breakthrough, and they were talking about the mind and the brain and they were saying that the human mind and brain is so complex that today's best neuroscientists are literally first graders in terms of their understanding and knowledge of our brain. So, 100%. You were talking earlier about what I would call either disagreement or lack of agreement when we're trying to create the vision for our lives. And it's a good place to look right, because so many of us, by the time we actually get to doing that kind of work and that kind of having these kind of inquiries like what do I really want, I'd love to say that we do this in our teens and 20s, but by that point in time, most human beings have fallen into this belief that creating a life based on what they want is selfish, or they shouldn't, or they should live to create their life inside of other people's standards and measurements for happiness and success. So it's typically not until later in life, right, I swear. I think with life crises, they're just people looking up at their life and being like how did I get here? Like, did I actually choose this? And largely you didn't consciously choose it. So, yeah, when you look around your life and you're like I don't, this doesn't feel like it belongs to me, because it doesn't authentically. But then it's like, okay, well, you have a life, you have children or a house or a partner, or dogs and cats and fishes and iguanas and annual trips to this, and you know, like subscriptions to magazines or whatever it is. You've got all of these things that you have created unconsciously. And now it's like, okay, well, how do I, how do I first like even give myself permission to be able to start to ask those questions? What do I want and who am I that's doing the asking, and what is this person really? You know, and it's almost like a returning to. Often it's a returning to I think you know who we were when we were very young, before, you know, life kind of led us in other directions. But, to your point, the people in our lives may not always agree with the direction or the vision or what we want, and it can be uncomfortable because we start, we start behaving differently and we start responding differently.

Speaker 2: 17:36

And you know, I remember when, when we moved from Toronto to Brampton when the kids were in grade six and grade eight. They were so mad at me, like so mad. But I knew if I didn't move them before high school I probably wouldn't be able to move them till after high school. Because that's just, you know, it's a bad idea to move a teenager. In my experience, and I really didn't I just couldn't be downtown Toronto anymore and I was just like I just and I wanted them to experience, you know they'd experience living in a downtown city. You know I downtown core, I wanted them to experience a different, you know. So they have, they know that there are different ways of living, you know. And so we moved to the Burbs and they were so mad at me. And then, years later, you know, both Kaylynn Matthew have said you know, mom, like, really did it was the right choice, you know.

Speaker 2: 18:26

But I think this is like for anyone who wants into this conversation In hindsight, that's where you see the cookies, the crumbs and the connections. Like you got to live life moment by moment. Don't really make Soren Kierkegaard if you've listened to the show more than once. I've said this quote many times. But life can only be understood looking through the rear view mirror, but it has to be lived going forward. And so, in the rear view mirror, I think it's always the right decision and I think we get really hung up sometimes on the how as human beings it really stops us and it's like just continuing.

Speaker 2: 19:13

And in Jackie, a mutual friend of ours gave me kind of an elevation of the what do I want, like, what would I love, like, how would I love for this to go. Not just what do I want, but like man, what do I want to do, you know, not just what do I want, but like man, like what would I love here in my business relationships with my kids, like with, like this new life where I'm living all over the world and in different places all the time, like, what would I love? And I think that's like the maybe the what do I want is kind of the more like structure of my life, but the what would I love, I think, is like the experience of it, like as you're going through these renovations, like you know, like well, I would love my family to trust me. You know I would love my family to trust me. Like and just you know, know that I've got their best interest at heart and our family's best interest at heart, whatever that is.

Speaker 2: 20:08

But I it takes courage, like it is like it takes courage to live that kind of life, because there's not a lot of like, even like you can't even say that you look like a celebrity or six people who are like, make a lot of money or whatever we would normally define as the measures for happiness and success in life. You know, because we know that those aren't. You know there's enough really famous people who had lots of money and all of that stuff, who, unfortunately, you know, dealt with addiction or took their own lives or whatever. Right, so it's like the real role models for living a created life and an authentic life. You know, like, where do you find those right People who are like?

Speaker 2: 20:55

And I think for us in our community we've kind of we look to each other and we find inspiration and courage and faith in each other, which I'm so grateful. You know, being here a hundred like I look back at all of the guests on the show. You know, over the last three years I'd say 90% of them are my close friends. You know, like there's only a handful of people that have been on the show that I really didn't know, and you know well, there's gonna be more coming up because we've got some new guests starting to come on the show. But, man, I am surrounded by the best freaking human beings on the planet.

Speaker 3: 21:29

Crazy mofos. That's why they are right. We have to be slightly what people would call crazy, to be willing, for instance, for you to pick up and say you know what? Yeah, I'm going to Bali and I'm going to create something there, and you know, even for me to tell my husband okay, well, in order for us to have this kind of life that we want when we're retired, this is the thing we have to do, and you know, being willing to do it that's one thing I've learned about myself that I can actually accept and I'm grateful for is my willingness to do the thing that needs to be done.

Speaker 2: 22:13

Yeah, you are reliable for that.

Speaker 3: 22:16

I don't owe it to it publicly or judgefully. I don't do it, you know, and I think, yeah, it takes some crazy mofos to do that, because it's easy to say, oh well, you know, it'll be nice to go to Bali when this is settled or that is settled, or you know it will be nice to think about retirement in 10 years. Well, I'm already retired. Then you know what I mean. It's easy to say what you said when this aligns or that aligns, or this happens or that happens, versus saying, no, I'm gonna take the bull by the horns or some other words you wanna put in there. Right, and just go for it, because our time here and even you know time is a construct, but the time that we have here is short. And why not live, have the experience of life from a place of love, Like you said, why not Like? Why not walk around? I heard this today, which I thought was beautiful why not walk around thinking what's the best thing that can happen today?

Speaker 2: 23:27

Hmm.

Speaker 3: 23:29

You know, versus what am I gonna have to mitigate today? What risk assessments am I gonna have to make to get what I want Versus what's the best thing that could happen today?

Speaker 2: 23:41

Yeah, yeah. How could I have all of it? Yeah.

Speaker 3: 23:48

Or how could I just say I don't want any of it?

Speaker 2: 23:51

Yeah, well, you know, like I mean I know, you know this and I think I've talked about it a little bit on the show it has not been an easy. You know, like it was not easy. Lots of things did not go the way I thought they were going to go. Lots of things over the last year since moving to Bali, you know there were many times that the easy, comfortable, perhaps even you know, sensible thing to do would have been to come back to Canada. You know, and not but, but the expansion in who I know myself to be and what I've, how I've grown over the last year and I mean even you know we're coming to the end of the 100th episode of the show Like, but like how I've grown over the last three years, like none of that would have happened if I wasn't. I think it's a great place to kind of wrap this conversation up around the point about you said, about being willing, like if I wasn't willing to ask and answer that question, what do I want? And I didn't want to leave Bali and come back to Canada, and so I was like, ok, well, like, that's not what I want. And you know, how do I, how do I create what I want? How do I have what I want? And continue to keep asking that question. And you know, I think we're going to ask that question till the day we die.

Speaker 2: 25:15

It's not a. It's not a yeah. It's not a question that gets answered like in any kind of permanent way. That's not the point of the question. The point of the question for me is like to keep truing myself up to who I am and what my desires are and what I want my life to look like, and and in all of the different aspects of life. And yeah, so just, I'm so proud of you and I'm so you know, you inspire me and so many other people and because you're not, you know you're willing to do what it takes, but you're not willing to not have what you want. And that was not who you were three years ago. Three years ago, you sacrificed what you wanted all the time for other people's dreams or other people's desires, to make other people happy. And as someone who, you know, adores you and loves you, I'm just so overjoyed, I'm just so overjoyed that that I get to witness, be a witness, on your journey, nina.

Speaker 3: 26:22

Thank you, amber, thank you and ditto like. Like you know, that's kindred spirits we birds of a feather flock together.

Speaker 2: 26:30

Yes. Oh well, for anyone listening to this, you know, for anyone listening to this show, you know, look, ask yourself, just keep, just that's all there is to do. Just keep asking and, to the best of your ability in any moment, just keep asking and answering that question. What do I want, what would I love? And just thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for all of the guests that have been on the show.

Speaker 1: 26:57

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For more information on the show and our extraordinary guests, check out conversations that matter podcastcom.

Speaker 2: 27:08

And I wouldn't get to do it if you didn't come on the ride with me. So just thank you so much to everyone for the opportunity to keep having conversations that matter. Have a great week and I'll see you next week.