Conversations That Matter

Episode 104 - From Bakery to Breathwork with Jenny

Amber Howard Season 5 Episode 1

Ever find yourself wondering how the smallest of whispers from the universe can steer you onto an entirely new life path? Join me, Amber Howard, as I sit down with the remarkable Jenny Cheifetz, whose own journey from home-based bakery entrepreneur to life and breathwork coach epitomizes the transformative power of heeding those gentle nudges. We unwrap her story, revealing the courage and personal growth it takes to pursue coaching, and how an unexpected encounter with a life coach’s ad was the sign that led her to where she is today.

We've all heard that taking a deep breath can help calm the nerves, but how often do we practice what we preach? In our enlightening chat, Jenny and I dissect the underrated art of deep breathing and its impact on managing stress. She brings to light the positive influences of breathwork on hormonal balance and sleep quality, providing a personal take on how this simple practice has reshaped her life. Prepare to be inspired to incorporate these mindful techniques into your own routine, as we share stories that demonstrate their remarkable effects on mental clarity and tranquility.

As women, we're often told to do it all, but at what cost? In a heartfelt conversation, Jenny reflects on the empowering journey of a guilt-free year, where she turned my back on societal 'shoulds' and embraced self-care. Looking forward to her upcoming podcast, Sideline Sisters, she extends an invitation to join her in future episodes that hold space for the tales of women in the world of sports. It's time to shelve the self-judgment and celebrate each chapter of our lives with grace and creativity—let's navigate this art of living together.

Connect with Jenny at the following links: 

Company: Jentle Coaching
Website: www.jentlecoaching.com
Email:  Jenny@jentlecoaching.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jentlecoaching
Instagram: www.instagram.com/jentlecoaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennycheifetz/
Book: gomediashark.com/thehookup

If you enjoy the show, please share with your connections, and leave us a review on your favourite podcast platform. If you want to connect with Amber to be a guest on the show or for any other reason reach out at info@amberhowardinc.com!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Conversations that Matter with your host, amber Howard. Each week, amber dances, in conversation with inspirational leaders, out to make a difference for what matters most to people. She brings you incredible guests who share their real life experience of being a leader and what it looks like to live a truly created life of service to others. And now here's your host.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back everyone. Welcome back to the Conversations that Matter podcast. It is my absolute pleasure to have on the show today Jenny Sheffitz. Jenny is a life coach and a breathwork coach life and breathwork coach and a podcast host. She works with women and athletes to help them feel calm, confident, aligned and at ease. Jenny's commitment is to bring a sense of calm into people's lives and to create safe spaces for women to feel empowered. Jenny, thank you so much for being on the show today.

Speaker 3:

Amber, thank you for having me. It's a joy to be here.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's so good. So we were just getting to know each other a little bit before the show kicked off. And you know, tell me a little bit about your journey to get to today. I know that you're relatively new to the world of entrepreneurship and you know how did that. I'm always curious to know people who make that leap, because it is quite a leap, right. It takes something to take on. You know there's a lot of internal work to do to take on being an entrepreneur. So tell me a little bit about how that came about in your life.

Speaker 3:

Actually. So it's interesting, I'm not so much new to entrepreneurship, I'm new to coaching Way back in the day, before children. I was a teacher for just a short period of my life, for five years, and then when my first child was born, he was a summer baby, so I was able to say goodbye to teaching on a nice, clean note and my children are close in age. So I was home with them for just a couple of years and, admittedly, got a little a little itchy being being home with the diapers and the, the you know, the mommy stuff and the crying and the, the moms groups, and I always loved baking. So I started a baking business and that turned into a home-based bakery and a food truck and I did that for 10, 12 years and serendipitously decided to close that up right before the pandemic. It was just, I don't know, the stars aligned and and I just decided I'd had kind of enough of that business. And while I was home scrolling Instagram, as many of us were, with our isolation, I, you know, just kind of in bed, just doing the thing, I came across a, a post, you know an ad for a life coach and the, the questions, the, just something in the ad really spoke to me. I'd never worked with a coach before, I'd done therapy throughout my life, but there was just something in this ad that was really profound and I, you know, I'd had a lot of traumatic experiences throughout my life and, you know, had had a lot of buried demons and just something in this ad said do this, do this short term low ticket program. And it was kind of self guided and, like I said, very low ticket, so it was just easy to click by now and do and do this program. And so I, I did it right. Right then I was like got it, just let me try this. It was something I never thought of, um, yeah, just never, never done before. So I, I did that.

Speaker 3:

And you know, like many of those types of programs, it was low ticket to get you in so that you could be introduced to the, the nuggets and the, the concepts, and then, at at a certain point after you entered, you'd get on a call so that they could introduce you to the, the big, exciting offer. And that's what happened. I got on the you know, the one to one discovery call so that they could say here's what's available if you really invested. And it was not a hard sell because I was doing the work that was suggested in this. You know, 30 day low ticket program that I that I bought, and so I was like, all right, I'm in. And so I bought into that next program and their next program and I was doing, I was really I was all in.

Speaker 3:

So I was doing the work and at that point I was getting you know the zoom calls and you know someone on one stuff and I was really I was getting um support and I was addressing my issues and healing is really what was happening, and at a certain point I started thinking, um, I think I want to do this.

Speaker 3:

You know, like, I love what this person is doing for me and I think I want to do this for other people, not exactly in the same vein, because this was a very niche program which he was helping me with, but I love this style of work. You know, I had never thought of myself as a coach before, but you know I was coming from the baking world. I was making, you know, cookies and cupcakes. Huh, could I be a coach? And, interestingly, around the same time in the program, she the coach. I don't know what. I don't know how it was, but she introduced some of us who were in the program. She had one particular night where she said she set up a Zoom call with her mentor that had coached her.

Speaker 3:

That, I guess, taught her to be a coach and said and said my coach is starting a new coaching certification program. So if there's anyone in this program who would like to look into becoming a coach, my coach is starting a new course and is, you know, having an info session. And I was like, wait a minute, I just as I'm thinking I could maybe do this. She's in, you know, introducing her coach to us. Wait, this is like a whisper from the universe. So it just it all felt very aligned and and eerie actually.

Speaker 3:

So, yeah, so that happened and I was like, okay, I can't not jump on this. So I took that course and that particular mentor also certified in breathwork. So I did that too and then said, okay, now I have these two certifications, I guess I need to start a business. So I had, I had been an entrepreneur, I had, you know, done the whole starter websites, do social media I mean not to any advanced level, but I get. You know, I'd had some experience with trying to market myself and put myself out there and, you know, network.

Speaker 2:

So, so definitely want to talk with you about breathing, because I think I spent most of my life not actually consciously breathing, so I think that's a really cool thing for us to talk about. But before we go there, I you know so many of the coaches I talked to and people that I work with. I think that that conversation of like I was coached and it had such a transformative effect on my life that I discovered in that process that I want to be and do that for other people, and I think that's, you know, really, what sits at the commitment, whether people are coaching athletes, like you do, or you know people are coaching executives, business owners, whatever the coaching is. It's like every coach has had that personal experience of coaching, taking their life from one place to another, you know, in whatever area of wellbeing that is, and it's like wow, like that was so extraordinary. I want to be that for other people. So that's a very kind of it's like yeah, that is at the core, I think, of what it is to be a coach is to have undergone that own personal transformation, and I love what you said about and I think it's like we get what we focus on right. So, while you're in these coaching programs and you know possibilities are being created, you know it's like, oh, maybe I could do this. And then all of a sudden they're offering a conversation with the mentor. It's like even seeing that ad in the first place.

Speaker 2:

I remember, you know, for years, one of the coaches I worked with and I share about this like I'd been coming from a place of comparison and envy and I knew this person for my you know previous programs that I'd been in and I kept like why is her life so great? Like what am I doing wrong? So it was really coming from that place of negativity and comparison and jealousy. And then in COVID, I discovered that they had like a free Facebook group and I went back and looked at it. It had been there for three years and I just wasn't ready to see it, you know.

Speaker 2:

So like things show up on our journey I think that was one of the other big things I took away from what you just said and your journey to get to today is things show up when we're ready for them, you know, and it's not that they're not out there. This is the whole conversation about frequency and manifestation. It's like everything already exists out there in the world, but are you tuned into it right? Are you gonna see it or are you? Is your focus and attention somewhere else? Not, you know, and I think that's really a big part of the work that we do.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, right, are you ready to receive it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so talk to me about breathing. Why is breathing a big part, and what did you discover in your journey about breathing that has it be such a big part of your coaching?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, well, I love. What you said is obviously we all breathe, but what you noted is most of us are breathing in stress response. We're breathing in a way that is very short and in such a way that is not helping our nervous system. So we're going through our day to day in a very fight or flight response. So we're doing this shallow, you know, almost like a hyperventilation breath pattern. You know it's short.

Speaker 3:

It's not getting very deep beyond our chest. It's a stress response. It is we're stressed. We're a stressed society, so we're breathing like we're stressed. It's not a relaxed, you know if anyone's. I'm not a yogi, but if anyone is into yoga you're told, you're taught to breathe. It's forced upon you. You're told to focus on your breath, so there's an awareness there. It might be the only time that you're aware of your breath, and so when you become aware of it, then you're realizing how much you are not aware of how you're breathing. You know how you're going through your day in a very nervous panicked chaotic way and it's rushed and it's not serving your body.

Speaker 3:

And so then the hormone and I'm not a doctor, I'm not a EMT, I'm not any kind of medical worker, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a therapist but your body is then responding and there's a hormone response and for women, you know the cortisol levels and so we wonder why we have that belly fat, and you know there's all the sleep patterns for any woman that might have done. You know, if you go to a naturopath and you have, you know you wonder why you have the belly fat and they'll tell you to do a cortisol test. And so if anyone has ever done you know women listening might have done this the cortisol test is a saliva spit. It's awful, it's a spit test and it's terrible. So you do this like spit test and you literally have to spit into a like a vial. It's terrible. So you can do this like oh, you could do probably on your own. You probably get one like through Amazon. But anyway, see, if you do a cortisol test and you see your cortisol levels it's any woman can see your it's gonna be awful. Most women have horrible cortisol levels because you're living in stress response and so it's gonna be related to. So my point being, if you were to introduce a breath word practice, it will.

Speaker 3:

There are proven, whether it's anecdotal or scientific. Breath work can positively impact sleep patterns. I know I sleep better as a result. Most women, as they age, will say that their sleep is worse. You're getting up three, four, five times a night. I sleep better. That might be one of the few things that I can say is happening is improving as I age. But it's when we focus on our breath and we take these nice deep inhales and exhales. Even if you just do that a couple times, you notice your body soften, you notice yourself relax. If you were to go, take a couple of deep breaths before you go into. If you have an important meeting, if someone doesn't, if they're nervous about a doctor's appointment you have to go into. If you have a lawyer's meeting or something that you're not looking forward to, put your feet on the ground, drop your shoulders, soften your face, unclench your jaw and just take a couple of deep breaths. Most people know you've said to yourself probably 1,000 times in your life 100 times, 10 times.

Speaker 3:

Take a deep breath. People know that. Take a deep breath. When your kid is having a temper tantrum, take a deep breath. If you're about to yell at your kid, take a deep breath. We've all done that before. We know that You've done breath work without even realizing it, by just taking a deep breath. So the actual breath work sessions are just more involved. They're more intense. They're more choreographed. They're just more involved. There's just more to it. There are more patterns, more than just taking a deep inhale exhale. There are a little more to it. That's why there's certification involved. But we all know that taking a deep breath feels good. That's why we should do more of that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for me I can't remember. I mean, so I know about the importance of calming from the world, like from my training in resilience, and the importance of for higher brain function and cognition breathing and the importance of calming so that you can calm down your nervous system, because our higher cognitive functions just aren't available when our brain is being flooded with cortisol and we're stressed out and we're in that flight flight response. So it's funny. You say people know to take a deep breath but there's lots of things that human beings know that we don't actually use in our day-to-day life.

Speaker 2:

And I think for me, for a long time I attended a session through a friend of mine and it was like, oh, I mean, clearly I'm alive, so I've been breathing my whole life, but I must be breathing. But it's that automatic brain function versus like, oh, I could consciously breathe and in that process of bringing awareness to my breathing, breathe deeper and have that experience of being calmed down and I love what. Well, I don't know that I love it. But I was really recreated in what you said about woman and stress. I mean I spent most of my life with my jaw clenched.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, and that you could feel the pain.

Speaker 2:

Well, I don't even know that I was conscious to it. Every once in a while I'd be like, wow, I'm clenching my teeth. But I think for most of my life I spent my whole life just in that state and not even being aware that I was doing that. And it's actually a side of my own transformation that my jaw is not clenched most of the time now and I'm actually present to that. My jaw is not clenched most of the time and it's now an access to being able to see, ok, what's going on with me, if I do have the experience that I'm clenching my jaw, but so many people don't even know that and know that that I mean. I think this is why the work that you do and others coaches and people are out there bringing awareness to these things is so important, because I think most people go through their whole life and don't even have that awareness.

Speaker 3:

So you don't have to tell you that if you do an exercise workout, or especially like a strength, I don't know Again, I'm not a fitness trainer but they'll tell you if you lift weights, the benefits of that will stick with you for the next. I'm making this up 12 hours or 24 hours or something.

Speaker 3:

Metabolically. So my take on breath work is similar. So you just said, but we don't think to breathe in the moment. We might be agitated or something stressed out, so we're not thinking to take those deep breaths in that moment. That's where I feel the benefit of a breath work practice comes into play. So, even if you're stressed out or you're having road rage or you're in a really frustrating work meeting or having an argument with your spouse or your child, fine, if you're incorporating a breath work practice routinely, that's where those benefits come into play. So you can still have your tantrums and but over time those benefits will be noticeable. Your reaction time you'll start to notice. Your anger threshold will improve. Your snapping, the things that will set you off will lessen.

Speaker 3:

That's where I feel having that practice and I actually put a I forget if it was a story or a real out recently, admitting I was lapsing on my practice, and so I engaged with someone in a little bit of a Facebook argument, recognizing that I was not working my tools, because I would not have responded the way I did if I wasn't. I let stress get the better of me and if I was working my tools, I know I would have taken my breaths and I would have recognized nope, this is not a proper response, you can let this one go. And instead I was snapped right back and I made a full of myself and looked back afterwards and said holy cow, this is very immature and not appropriate. But it's just like nutrition and exercise If you have a regular practice you see the benefits. But if you do it once a month or once every two months, it's hard to see improvement.

Speaker 2:

I think you're pointing to practice, right, and we talk, you call it a breath of practice. People who work and athletes go to practice. I think practicing is super important for what I call the art of living, right, it's like you don't have to have something perfect, but taking it on, practicing it. Forgiveness, right, when we have moments, I think thank God for forgiveness, we all need it from time to time or daily. And then, like the other thing, it's like there is this quality to being human where we're constantly starting and stopping things.

Speaker 2:

And this idea isn't mine. I got it from a program that I did a number of years ago called the Wisdom Unlimited. But it's like we are constantly starting and stopping and we make stopping wrong. And then, like for many people, when you stop, it's like, oh, give up, I failed, I started that practice and I stopped, and I'm a whatever insert, whatever self-deprecating comment after right.

Speaker 2:

But it's like if we can just get that, it's part of human nature to start and stop, then you can like my work is all in an inquiry, right. And it's like, oh well, not even. Why did I stop? Because I don't know that. Why is the most helpful question that human beings ever ask themselves but like, do I wanna start again or do I wanna start something else, or do I just wanna stop completely? But then it becomes something that you can be a choice about, versus like some should, or something that I failed at and now I'm just never gonna do that thing again. I think that recognition that starting and stopping as part of what it is to be human brings a huge amount of freedom.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I love the inquiry like what did I notice and what right, what did that scientific?

Speaker 2:

or just the curiosity.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I think curiosity is the birthplace of creativity, which is my word for 20, I have a word every year, a journey I go on to. This year's journey was into acceptance, and boy was that a lot of fun. It's been good year, the thing you gotta be like. It's interesting what you invite. When you look, it's like, oh, I wanna explore patience. Okay, well, you should be prepared for a lot of experiences that cause you to have to have patience right, cause this is just kind of how these things work. So my journey into acceptance didn't quite go the way I thought it would, but it's been extraordinary.

Speaker 2:

And for the first time, I'm creating a journey in partnership with someone else my romantic partner and so 2024 is gonna be all about creativity, and creativity is a source of causing miracles in life. But I think curiosity like that giving up what we know right like is a huge access to being able to be creative, because the minute we start like knowing things and having certainty about things, then it kind of locks us into something or has us become attached to something. Oh, so you talk a lot about well, you talking about honoring our journeys, and I think honor in general something that's really important to me, jenny, but for you, what does it look like when the coaching that you do with women in the work that you do with athletes, for yourself, like, what does it mean and look like to honor your journey?

Speaker 3:

Well, I love. So you use the word acceptance. Another word that I love is just allowing, and with that comes grace, just allowing and honoring, and grace, all of these words just being okay with what was, what is we are. I don't know how we have become such a judgmental society. I don't know why. I don't know why. I just don't know why we look to each other and look to our neighbors with such judgment and negativity, but and then to ourselves, it's just so unkind.

Speaker 3:

So we've all walked these paths that have been bumpy and turbulent and have led us to wherever we are. And we, I just want to support people, clients, whoever you know, my friends and neighbors and whoever I pass along the way, and send them to me, and I just want to be there for them. And I just want to be there for them and send love and say whatever you've been through, it's brought you here, and stopping so hard on yourself and wherever it's meant to take, you allow. You know I, I just want to be there for them. So I was, you know, not metaphorically, I was physically in the woods one day on a journey in the woods, I was walking my dogs and I had an epiphany that you know, and it was a tough.

Speaker 3:

It was, you know, it was like a tough pill to swallow that I, here I am, in my late 40s, and I've, you know, tried to figure out how I'm on, like act seven, eight, nine of my life, you know, figuring out. Okay, I'm finally a coach, a breathwork facilitator, and I've done a lot of different things. I've had a lot of different jobs, like not careers but jobs, and I have friends and my husband and who have careers, who've excelled, who've, you know, climbed a ladder, and I look at some of these people and I'm in awe of what they've accomplished. And you know, we were talking before about that imposter syndrome and putting people on a pedestal, which I really don't want to do because that's an ugly place to be.

Speaker 3:

But I fell victim to it because I'm human and it occurred to me this moment in the woods that here I am, having had all these different jobs and roles, and my college friends and these, these peers of mine who are CEOs and VPs and presidents and companies, and they're the same age as me, and how have they done so much? And I had this epiphany and said again this was this tough pill. They and I'm not putting myself in a victim role, but it just it is. It is what it is they had someone rooting for them and I didn't. I, I lost my mother at a young age and I didn't have someone telling me when I was graduating college you can. You can be anything you want to be.

Speaker 3:

So I took a job at a college, the first and only job offer that I had, because I didn't. Maybe I wasn't trying for things I didn't know that.

Speaker 3:

I could be anything I was, I could be. I didn't have that like. You're a woman and you can be anything you want to be, Jenny. So I applied for jobs. I got one job offer and I took it, but I didn't. I didn't, I guess, have that message of go be something great. So I didn't become something great and I didn't try to be anything great and I don't I don't mean for that to sound pathetic, but I but I didn't. Like I have friends that became, you know, partners in law firms and doctors and surgeons and great things that you know, and I and I didn't, and so so this journey, yeah.

Speaker 3:

So this journey that I reflect back on, I have to honor this journey because it's the journey that I traveled and it's and it's okay because it led me, it's beautiful because it led me here and it's it's the journey that I was meant to travel, Because if I traveled a different journey, I wouldn't be standing here today, I wouldn't be in this chair talking to you and I wouldn't be, I wouldn't have my life, I wouldn't have my children, I wouldn't have this, this thing that I've now created, and the podcast I'm creating and the. You know, I wouldn't have what I have if I didn't have, if I, I guess, if I had built something different. So it was all meant to be, it was all meant to be.

Speaker 2:

I love what you're pointing to here because I mean, this is, this is why I exist in the world. Right is to like be someone who interrupts these conversations that there is one pathway to success and happiness and life, because that's what we all, we all inherited that right we were born into. This idea, like, if you want to be a successful, happy person, you have to do something great. And and being great doesn't mean like making kick ass cookies for the you know the school cookies drive. Or being great doesn't mean, you know, being an awesome volunteer for a local organization. You know there are some real clear guidelines on what being great is. You know it's how much money you earn and the size of the house that you live in and the kind of job titles that you have. And you know, did you follow the right path? You know, high school, college, university, kids, husband, wife, whatever. Right like there's this, like a life that we're told we should, we should have. And if we don't have that life in some capacity, if our life doesn't look like that, then we've failed in some way and and we should all want that life, because that's the life of a successful, happy person. And I'm like no, who said Right? Who said who says that that's what happiness like?

Speaker 2:

I am positive. I just met you literally 45 minutes ago, jenny, and I am positive that you've done many great things in your life and that may not mean like one of those great. And is it great to be a surgeon? Yeah, it's great to be a surgeon. Is it great to be the CEO of a company? Yeah, I am one. It is great to be the CEO of a company. I get to create what I want in life.

Speaker 2:

There are things, but so many people go through life comparing themselves to this image or this idea of what a successful, happy life looks like. And you know, I'm not even sure like this has been part of my journey into acceptance this year. I'm not even sure. The point is to have a happy life Like we're told that too. We're told that we should have a happy life and you know, I think happiness comes from inside and I can be happy at any moment and life happens. You know, earlier this year a dear friend of mine committed suicide.

Speaker 2:

I got that call. It was not happy and dealing with the impact of that was not happy in the state of the world and what's happening. There's lots of things that are happening in the world today that are not happy. But what's my capacity to be able to be in the world you know, with? You know living aligned with my values, being able to create what I want and what I think is great? And show me a world where kids were raised to go out and create that kind of life, whether or not comparing themselves to you know how many more people would get involved in you know sports, if it wasn't this like you're picked for the team or you're not picked for the team. You're good enough or you're not good enough, and you know you've got it. Like if you're going to be in sports, you've got to be the best, versus like no sports is like just great for life.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Being. You know, exercising, moving your body is great for having a healthy sense of self and wellbeing. Right, how many more people would be engaged in sports, as an example? So I think you're great, I think you've done great things in your life and I know you're going to continue to do that. And to me, it's like that ongoing inquiry of what does Jenny want, what do I want? And is my am I taking actions, even if it's one small action a day or one small action a week, to move myself closer to having more of what I want and less of what I don't want in my life? And I think that, like honoring people's choice to create what they want in life is so important and that's what I'm really committed to. So, yeah, and I like what you said.

Speaker 2:

You know it's important to have cheerleaders. It's important to have people in our life and surround ourselves with people who think we're freaking great, even when we screw up, and we, you know, get regey about stupid comments on social media. Or, you know, our kids do something and you know we don't respond. You know we react instead of respond because we're human. You know, I think it's important to have those people in our life who you know.

Speaker 2:

My partner, peter, is one of them. Like, even when I'm a you know Scottish warrior princess and I lose my mind about something and get super upset over the stupidest things, peter just looks at me like I'm the greatest thing on the. You know. He's just like you're just so great, like I just love you so much. You know that's nice, yeah. So I think it's important and and it's important to be able to recognize when those things have been missing in our journeys and, you know, having those people who can have our back and, you know, are we allowing that as well? Cause I think, for a big part of my life, there are lots of people in my life who wanted to support me, but I was too busy people pleasing and taking care of them and not asking for help and letting, not letting people know what I needed to be able to receive right. So am I? Am I doing the work to be worthy of receiving Right? So we're coming to the end of a year and I love to you know.

Speaker 2:

I'm like taking on asking my guest's question, cause it's December. What are you, what are you leaving at the doorway of 2023? What are you not you know? What are you letting go of after this year, this turn around the sun, jenny?

Speaker 3:

Well, I've been, I've been pretty good about this for the most part this year, but but just in case it lingers at all, I'm going to make sure I don't bring it with me and I want to encourage your listeners to do the same. And it is, it's commonly commonly called mom guilt, but I will, I'll just call it guilt period, which is in the form of well, maybe we'll call it like women, woman guilt of, like self-care guilt, Like if you want.

Speaker 3:

If you want to sit on the couch and like watch Netflix in the middle of the day and think, but you got a picture, I want to paint the whole picture. So if it's just like the middle of a Tuesday and you want to sit on the couch and watch, like, like lawn order instead of making dinner, and so you watch like three old episodes of lawn order, and you know the family comes home and says what's for dinner Because that's what's expected of you, and you say I didn't make dinner. And everyone's looking at you like what do you mean? Like that's what you're supposed to have done. You feel no guilt, none. Instead, you say either you figure it out or we get something in, but what's going on in your body is nothing resembling guilt, nothing resembling guilt. And while you're watching that lawn order, you're not folding laundry, you're not feeling anything. Like I should be doing blank or well, that's three hours I should have been doing blank. It's just time spent on you.

Speaker 2:

Can you imagine a year free of shoulds? Like what would that even look like, right? Or just like a year spent in the practice of giving up shitting yeah, shitting on yourself, shitting on other people and just like returning to like okay, yeah, I said, I declared I was giving that up and every time a should comes up it's like okay, got it, notice, thank you. Moving on. Like that would be a very cool year. I am, yeah, I think that would be. We just do so much damage to ourselves right Inside of those conversations and, like inside of that, those expectations we have of self and others.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and I'm not suggesting a year of laziness, like, clearly like.

Speaker 2:

Well, but even that right, Jenny, like even that idea that spending three hours taking care of yourself is, like you know, going to lead you down the road of debauchery, to a life of doing nothing, like you know, like we have to. Yeah, I love this conversation. I think it's important.

Speaker 3:

Right, but doing that periodically, without labeling it laziness or yeah or feeling guilty about it, like that's that you are entitled to that as often as as need be, without yeah, without any other emotions tied to it. Very good, right, because I do that and I can. I can teach you how that is. I can teach you how to do that.

Speaker 2:

That's so good. I love that you said law in order to, because that's such a cool show is one of my favorite shows. That in Star Trek, very cool. So what's getting created in 2024? Where you know, as we move forward into the new year, what are you looking forward to, what are you excited for in the coming year?

Speaker 3:

Would it be silly to say in my podcast no, not at all.

Speaker 2:

Sideline Sisters is the name of the show, right? So tell us a little bit about, tell me a little bit about Sideline Sisters.

Speaker 3:

So it is a lot of fun, a little bit of seriousness. It is conversations with women. So far, all women, and I won't say you know entirely, but so far all women about sports. I've talked to athletes, psychologists, olympians, people in administration, fans, sports moms, a whole. I'm probably leaving people out so far, but pretty much anyone with an angle, perspective, hand in sports, who, yeah, who has a story or interest and wants to talk about, yeah, their love of sports or a story or a perspective and attitude. And, yeah, we have, we have conversations. Some of it is controversial, some of it is just lighthearted, and that is coming on January 3rd.

Speaker 2:

Very cool. I love my podcast. It's been one of the funnest things I've done over the last three years because I get to have conversations with people like you about the things that matter to them and that's like that's joyful for me. So I wish you the best of luck for those listening to the show. You'll be able to find the links and how to connect with Jenny in the show notes and just. I hope you walk away from this conversation like, really, just what are you going to practice this week? And you know, what are you going to take on? Trying newly and where could you give up, what should? Could you give up for the holidays? Right, jenny, you are lovely. It's been wonderful talking with you. Just you know, as someone who's committed, that people get to live a creative life. Thank you for being a partner and causing that for you know, for listening to the show.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For more information on the show and our extraordinary guests, check out Conversations that Matter, podcastcom.

Speaker 2:

Just thank you for being with me today.

Speaker 3:

Well, thank you, Amber. I love what you're doing in the world.

Speaker 2:

For everyone else. I will see you next week. Lots of love, Bye.

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